Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Hollywood auteur and purveyor of logic-defying explosions Michael Bay has some changes in mind when it comes to his upcoming reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies.

It is best if you picture several explosives going off in your surroundings while you're speeding away on an airborne jetski, before you read the details after the cut:

Visual Aid.

In Nickelodeon's "upfront" presentation on coming plans, Bay told the press:

"when you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these Turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable."
As per the alien origin, the movie's new working title has been simplified to "Ninja Turtles"-because it's common knowledge that the average alien lifespan is shorter than a decade, so they can't become teenagers.

They can't become Mutants as well becauseHOLYPOOPWTF WAS BAY THINKING?! Is he even familiar with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

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